Ask Dr. Merl

Dear Dr. Merl,
I've noticed that the FDA has recently updated their food pyramid. I'm a lonely bachelor and have little time for cooking. What do you recommend for healthy but simple bachelor food?
-Timmy

I've been a successful bachelor for many years now, Timmy, and I certainly have some expertise in the field of healthy eating. There are 3 primary staples for the bachelor to allow for a healthy life style: orange juice, quesadillas, and tequila. Any combination of at least of 2 of these items should get you by for a healthy meal. However there are some basic rules to follow. Quesadillas should be made with the following ingredients: 1 tortillas (bread group), several slices of cheese (dairy group), and some sriracha chili sauce (fruit/vegetable group & intestinal cleanser); nothing more and nothing less. Always serve the tequila (bread/vegetable group?) on the rocks. This will help you keep hydrated and tastes much better than plain water. In fact if you get thistier just keep drinking more and more tequila on the rocks. You'll feel much better (in a couple of days). Lastly, never ever mix the orange juice and the tequila together. That's just wrong. However, feel free to mix together the quesadilla with either the orange juice or the tequila; it makes a wonderful smoothy (shown in picture above).

Well there you have it Timmy. A simple guide to a successful life such as my own.

Keep those questions coming.